About two weeks ago I rediscovered Cam4.com. I had been aware of it for some time, and never really paid that much attention to it because all I ever seemed to see on there were a broad swath of naked dudes asking for 'tips' or 'tokens' to perform various sex acts on themselves or others on cam with them. It was amusing and everything, but had a very short shelf-life as far as my arousal goes.
Well, for whatever reason two weeks ago, I was looking around on the site and noticed at the very latter end of the index of broadcasting members were the guys who were getting no viewers, or maybe at the most one or two. So even though I have shied-away from doing anything with a webcam on a sex site, I decided to go for it. After logging on, I positioned the camera away from my face and rather on my lower body, which was still in underwear. I soon started watching some solitary 40 year-old guy sitting in a chair and stroking his very normal-sized dick. He saw I was there, and said "hi". I responded in kind and told him it looked like he was having fun. The next thing I know, I have my boxer briefs around my ankles and I'm stroking my cock with him, just talking about sex-stuff and getting each other more and more worked-up. Things progressed rather rapidly until we were both in the position of coaching each other to orgasm. It was a lot of fun, and definitely cathartic.
So this, as it turns out, is my first time having a sexual experience with another man while fully awake and deliberate. It was amazing, and a huge turn-on. Afterward, I didn't feel nearly as alone in my own skin as I normally do. He related that he is in the exact same position as I am: married before realizing and accepting his sexual identity and now living with a wife he loves dearly, but who is not a lover. He has kids too, and struggles with the same issues on a daily basis as I do. God, it felt good to have someone else tell their story that so closely mirrors my own.
Surprisingly, I did not have any guilt after doing this. I have always feared the temptation to cheat on my wife. I am not making any kind of moral judgement about the act or anyone who has made the decision to do it. I simply know that I, myself, couldn't handle my own self-imposed guilt. Until jerking-off with this guy over the internet, I would have considered doing so an act of infidelity. Now that I have done it, I (somewhat conveniently) do not consider it cheating. It is not a rationalization as much as it is an acknowledgment hat I have sexual needs a human being, and I am not going to live my life starving myself of this basic sustenance.
Would really love to hear from any all readers of this post: Is jerking-off anonymously on webcam with another guy to be considered cheating?
I don't think so. There was no physical contact, and though you had verbal and visual interaction, it wasn't a whole lot different than jerking-off to porn. Of course, if you consider that cheating ( and some wives do) then perhaps.
ReplyDeleteI agree - thanks. I really think the physical barrier makes a big difference. It is morally insulating.
DeleteI agree with JB. We are our own jailor, our own judge and jury. If you feel guilty, then you probably are guilty. Only you can be the judge of your situation.
ReplyDeleteBut, if you're asking for MY judgement, not guilty.
Thanks - point well taken.
DeleteI used to jerk off on cam and had some pretty hot sessions with guys in god knows what country. Some really hot times actually. Definitely a big turn on to know another guy out there is watching your body and is visibly aroused by what you're doing too. Add in actual voice chat over just keyboard typing and oh man can you get yourself in trouble.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, while I wouldn't call what you did cheating, it could definitely be interpreted as such, especially by your wife. I was reading stuff on the Petraeus thing, and one person commented that if you feel the need to hide what you're doing from your spouse, it's probably cheating so I guess you could use that as your guide. You definitely have your sexual needs and this might be a good outlet for it.
Anyway you can refer to this post for my experience with web camming. Just FYI I used to go on menchats.com.
http://madmanmd.blogspot.com/2011/07/ive-done-lot-of-crazy-shit-since-i.html
It's been a while since you wrote this, and sorry for my late response.
DeleteThere IS something so visceral and hot about being watched in such an intimate act, and seeing other guys bare themselves. It's a really big surprise to have other guys compliment my body.
There are a LOT of freaks out there, though, and thus far I feel like they are relatively easy to spot. The rare find is when you meet a guy who just wants to sit back, relax, and chat while pleasuring ourselves. Very often it turns out to be a guy in my situation.
Yea Cravin, you say:::relax, and chat while pleasuring ourselves. Very often it turns out to be a guy in my situation.:::: that would be me Sire. Beating off is fine, but I have to say this, I miss the pleasure of tasting, feeling and sucking a nice dick too. I know I shouldn't do it, but there are times i just have to. I guess thats why we are all different, but in the same situations, Take care, JR.
DeleteI'm a straight woman and I would not personally consider it cheating. However, I know a few men (no one that I'm involved with...good friends only) who have become rather addicted to caming. And it can be a slippery slope that leads to ever increasing need for contact that eventually will lead to actual cheating. Use it if it helps keep the urges under control and gives you a measure of relief but realize it is no more than a band-aide at its best. And at its worst it's a path you need to consider before taking.
ReplyDeleteAll that said, while I don't consider it strictly cheating, I've always used the guide that the poster above mentions: If you're doing something you need to hide,whether masturbating on cam or getting an erotic massage or having hookups off craig's list then you "may" be cheating. As long as you're aware of the tendency toward escalating behavior, you might have found something that works for you. Good luck in any case
Very good comments and insight. Thank you.
DeleteI definitely see the potential for addiction with camming. I also see the potential for the slippery slope into actual cheating in person. Thus far, I remain conscious of it and in control.