A Big Step - on Webcam

About two weeks ago I rediscovered Cam4.com.  I had been aware of it for some time, and never really paid that much attention to it because all I ever seemed to see on there were a broad swath of naked dudes asking for 'tips' or 'tokens' to perform various sex acts on themselves or others on cam with them.  It was amusing and everything, but had a very short shelf-life as far as my arousal goes.

Well, for whatever reason two weeks ago, I was looking around on the site and noticed at the very latter end of the index of broadcasting members were the guys who were getting no viewers, or maybe at the most one or two.  So even though I have shied-away from doing anything with a webcam on a sex site, I decided to go for it.  After logging on, I positioned the camera away from my face and rather on my lower body, which was still in underwear.  I soon started watching some solitary 40 year-old guy sitting in a chair and stroking his very normal-sized dick.  He saw I was there, and said "hi".  I responded in kind and told him it looked like he was having fun.  The next thing I know, I have my boxer briefs around my ankles and I'm stroking my cock with him, just talking about sex-stuff and getting each other more and more worked-up.  Things progressed rather rapidly until we were both in the position of coaching each other to orgasm.  It was a lot of fun, and definitely cathartic.

So this, as it turns out, is my first time having a sexual experience with another man while fully awake and deliberate.  It was amazing, and a huge turn-on.  Afterward, I didn't feel nearly as alone in my own skin as I normally do.  He related that he is in the exact same position as I am: married before realizing and accepting his sexual identity and now living with a wife he loves dearly, but who is not a lover.  He has kids too, and struggles with the same issues on a daily basis as I do.  God, it felt good to have someone else tell their story that so closely mirrors my own.

Surprisingly, I did not have any guilt after doing this.  I have always feared the temptation to cheat on my wife.  I am not making any kind of moral judgement about the act or anyone who has made the decision to do it.  I simply know that I, myself, couldn't handle my own self-imposed guilt.  Until jerking-off with this guy over the internet, I would have considered doing so an act of infidelity.  Now that I have done it, I (somewhat conveniently) do not consider it cheating.  It is not a rationalization as much as it is an acknowledgment hat I have sexual needs a human being, and I am not going to live my life starving myself of this basic sustenance.

Would really love to hear from any all readers of this post: Is jerking-off anonymously on webcam with another guy to be considered cheating?

A New Hand Tool

So I went to Adam and Eve about a month ago and bought a Fleshlight.  I had seen these on some of the porn sites I frequent, and decided there must be something to it since they get so much free advertising.  The Fleshlight site is very comprehensive, and gave me a good idea of what I wanted for my own personal artificial orifice.  The 'Crystal' clear one seemed to fit the bill.  While in a neighboring city, I slipped into an Adam and Eve and bought this strange new toy for myself.  Taking it out of the packaging and looking at it in the car, I couldn't believe the soft texture of the gel insert and the inviting labial opening - it actually looked and felt just like pussy.  Almost had to get down to business with it right there, but managed to wait until I got home.

I didn't feel like concealing the purchase from my wife.  She's not fucking me, so I figure she can deal with it.  I walked in and showed it to her, then told her I needed some "me time" up in the bedroom. I did ask her to come with for some playtime with my new toy - to use it give my dick it's inaugural plunge - but she didn't go for it.  I followed the instructions on the box and warmed it up in hot water, then got buck naked and started sexing-myself-up on the bed. 

To say the least, the feeling of this device is amazing.  It's warm, snug, and feels just like a vagina does before it goes through the trauma of squeezing out two kids.  I was blown away and really had to pace myself to make it last.  After all, I usually don't announce my masturbatory intentions and make the bedroom off limits, so I wanted to savor my private time.  This clear silicone and plastic gem has given me a whole new take on jerking off.   Loved it.

As it matter of fact, it gets me thinking about prostate stimulation....